My wife (a born & bred 10th generation Texan) and I are walking through the streets of Portland, Maine, where we come upon a grand Civil War statue in a plaza, a massive winged victory atop a stone base honoring Union dead.

Misty, puzzled, turns to me: Wait, does that mean...

Me: Yeah. We won.

*Alternative Title: On the sort of good-humored political joking about civil war that George Bush et al. apparently hope will occur in Iraq tomorrow so that the US military can leave, which in fact takes about 150 years to happen and which, even today, remains an off-color joke in certain circles and requires years of professional training to tell safely. So do not try this at home.