Why not? Because they know how the sausage gets made.

The LA Times reporter, William Lobdell, begged his editors to let him cover religion after he was born again. But the heart-warming stories of church life gave way to stories about the Roman Catholic sex abuse scandal. Then he talked to ostracized Mormons. Then he covered the money-making machine that is the Trinity Broadcasting Network. Then he covered the trial of a Catholic priest who successfully avoided paying child support for his 13-year-old illegitimate son.

As I walked into the long twilight of a Portland summer evening, I felt used up and numb.

My soul, for lack of a better term, had lost faith long ago — probably around the time I stopped going to church. My brain, which had been in denial, had finally caught up.

Clearly, I saw now that belief in God, no matter how grounded, requires at some point a leap of faith. Either you have the gift of faith or you don't. It's not a choice. It can't be willed into existence. And there's no faking it if you're honest about the state of your soul.

Sitting in a park across the street from the courthouse, I called my wife on a cellphone. I told her I was putting in for a new beat at the paper.